Where do you go when things get difficult?
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Hi beautiful souls,
You know those times where everything is rolling ever-so-smooth, and then... BAM. It all flips upside down. Such has been my week. I was on a high the last few weeks. Super busy, yes, but really feeling like everything in like was falling in to place so… perfectly. I was like aha, I really get it, this business of holding the space of joy, light, presence, trust and love all the time, no matter what. I was high-vibing at its highest. February was a whirlwind, and my last week was even busier, but I had it scheduled like clockwork. All I needed to do was show up and be present with it all.
And then – crash. I was en-route to a full day of in-office healings when I got a call from the doggy daycare I had just dropped my pup Otis off at. He was playing, let out a huge yelp, fell, and lost control of his front legs. And just like that, my perfectly planned schedule went out the window. I went up to get him, and multiple vet visits later, had him in surgery that afternoon.
"Oh, you thought you had it all figured out?” said the universe "Well, here you go. You aced that last level. Time to level up. Can you still hold that joy, light, presence, trust and love when the curveball is thrown? When all the concerns of earth call you in, can you still hold your highest connection?"
Through the fire
And so here I am. Facing a big exam on my practicing what I preach, on holding the full integrity of all my practices through the fire. I’ve been teaching many meditation and mindfulness workshops lately, extolling the benefits of being here now, accepting instead of resisting, and responding instead of reacting. In the eye of this particular storm, I see the pain comes from reliving how things were before, or worrying about what life will be like moving forward. When I bring myself back to now, I fall into full surrender, knowing there is nothing I can do in this moment but trust the good hands he’s in, and pray and hold the faith for his smooth recovery.
I’ve also taught many of my Art of Intuition workshops, sharing how we can stay connected to our hearts and hear and trust the call of our intuition. In all this, I can see the pain of letting my mind run amok, and the peace that comes when I rest in my heart and trust the guidance I am receiving. I have used each and every one of the practices and tools I teach to stay connected to my inner guidance and quiet the waves of my mind.
I convened with my healing students this month, and shared that this life of a healer was both rewarding and challenging beyond measure. That it was no easy path, and that life would flip things around for you time and time again until your connection to all that lies beyond this material world is deeply rooted, so that you may be a strong support and compassionate bridge for others. In all this, life was flipped upside down again, and I was placed in the fire of learning how the pain of the human heart can awaken more compassion in us. How resting in the void of the unknown can deepen our connection to all the guidance that is always available to us, and show us all we really have is right now, as it is.
And with my clients, I’ve been guiding many this month on being present with what is, not looking to erase the pains, but rather integrate them and let them strengthen you, help you become a better human. In all this, my question is not how can I numb, distract from and override what I feel, but rather, how can I be with it gently and sweetly? How can I let this teach me, strengthen me, and awaken me?
I am human; none of this has been easy. The last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster, and I have remembered these are all practices, not perfects. It is a constant dance of retraining the mind and surrendering to all that is. But in the face of something I never would have wished for, I am seeing the grounding I have in my practices, my principles, and most importantly, my heart. My trust, faith, and willingness to surrender were tested, and through this, they have been been strengthened. My ability to remain connected with my highest self and highest energies was tested, and through this, my connection and vibration has elevated. Diamonds become brilliant through heat and pressure, and through this, somehow, I have brightened.
Where do you go when things get difficult?
Prem Baba, a beautiful teacher I’ve met in India, asked a question at one of his satsangs: Where do you go when things get difficult?
I ask that to you now. The energy of last night’s full moon highlighted this for many of us. Get quiet. Dig in. Where do you go when things get difficult? Do you numb or nourish? Do you shut out or listen? Do you override or allow? Do you distract or tune in? Whatever you do, does that feel in alignment with your heart, with your soul? Where do you go now, and where do you want to go when things get difficult?
We are human, and life is life. We came to this earth school to experience the duality of bliss and sorrow, of joy and struggle, of love and pain. We came to learn some big lessons, and often times this duality can be the greatest teacher for our soul. Don’t shy away from the difficulties. Dive in and let them awaken you.
Otis is recovering slowly and surely at the clinic (though prayers + good vibes for the little guy are always welcome!), and I am feeling grounded back in my heart and ready to elevate to this new level I’ve been called to. I have leaned on my support systems hard the last few days, and I am full with more gratitude that my heart’s work allows me to be a support and guide for others through the ebbs and flows of life. Each of my own trials awakens more compassion in me, and each allows me to clear more resistances and allow more higher energy. The highs and the lows are both my teachers, and for both I am grateful. If there’s any way I can be of service to you in healing and gaining perspective through your own trials, please reach out.
Life will bring you joys and life will bring you pains. The joys teach us faith, trust and show us all that is possible, all we are reaching for. The pains awaken the strength, resilience and compassion in us. Hold both sacred in your heart, for both hold the key to your highest growth.
With love,
ayah