The Personal is Relational

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Hi  beautiful souls,

Happy June, happy summer (almost!), happy new moon! Today marks a new moon in Gemini, the sign that is curious, communicative, brimming with ideas, and always up for a little fun. New moons are a time for introspection and coming inward, and yet Gemini is ever so sociable, so this particular new moon gives us a good opportunity to reflect on our relationships.
 
Last month seemed to bring so many of my karmic connections to the forefront, giving me an opportunity to see a little deeper into the ways we’re all connected, and how we help shape each other. It also reminded me that so much of our personal healing is relational – healing from wounds others have consciously or unconsciously inflicted on us, and wounds we may have consciously or unconsciously inflicted on others. We hold on to judgments, bitterness, resentments, the whole lot. And more often than not, those eat us up inside, taking up so much precious space in our minds and hearts. Our healing happens when we learn to release that judgment, bitterness, and resentment, and there we find space for more peace, acceptance and compassion. 
 

I was reading a story from Ram Dass, a beloved spiritual teacher, relayed to him from one of his friends in NYC. She was walking down the street and saw a truck cut off a woman in her car. The woman in the car was livid, but couldn't quite find the words to express her rage. She leaned out her window, shook her fist, and sputtered out: “You… you… you… weird manifestation of God, you!”
 
And aren’t we all? Doesn’t that concept help take some of the load off? Rather than judging everyone as right or wrong, this way or that, holding on to all the related bitterness and resentment, to just go, wow – aren’t we all such weird manifestations of God? I know I certainly am. I bet you are too. And so are our greatest loves. And so are our greatest nemeses. We’re all just weird manifestations of God. (And if God doesn’t resonate with you – we’re all just weird manifestations of consciousness, Spirit, the universe, the human race... you get the jam.)
 
And when you look at it that way – there’s less space for judgment to come in. There’s no right, perfect, best manifestation of God (ok, maybe some saints have that down, but I'm talking about you and me in all our human-ness!), just a whole lot of weird ones. As my teacher Amma reminded us on my last retreat with her, there are over seven billion humans on this planet. Seven billion ways of perceiving the world. Seven billion ways of expressing oneself in the world. Seven billion weird manifestations of God. Pretty wild, isn’t it?
 

Making peace, finding freedom

Now it should go without saying, this doesn’t mean you let everything from everyone slide. It certainly doesn’t mean you don’t stand up against injustices or harm you see others perpetuate, or that you back away from confrontation in situations that need resolving. In fact, the more you root into your weird manifestation of God, the more you are called to shape the world you see in the ways you are called to shape it. This happens by being exactly who we are, creating what we're called to create, serving how we're called to serve, expressing what we're called to express. And that, in turn, often helps to guide and inspire others. But you don’t try to force your ways down everyone’s throat. You don’t try to change everyone into some perfect model. You can say and do your piece, but ultimately, you are not responsible for changing others. That has to come from within them. Just like your change comes from within you.
 
The peace is made when you realize: I am free to be me. You are free to be you.
 
And – I am rooted so strongly in myself that I don’t need to bend or break for you. I am also rooted so strongly in myself that I don’t need to change you. My discernment and discretion are strong enough to keep me anchored in my light, and my boundaries are strong enough to not allow in what will sway me from that light. 
 
Again, I'm not talking about holding this mindset towards those who cause you or others real and serious harm. That needs to be addressed, and by all means, speak up! I'm talking about the judgments that creep up in our relationships: "I can't believe she did this...," "Can you believe he said that...," "Why can't they just...," etc. It is too easy to set ourselves apart from others by our judgments, to hold onto our resentments and bitterness, to believe ourselves better or superior. We all hold light and we all hold shadow. We're all just weird manifestations of God. 

Keep rooting into the truest manifestation of you, attending to your healing, and stepping into your growth. When you notice the judgment, bitterness or resentment creep up, look closer – is there something you are called to say or do to shift the dynamic? If so, take action. That will help free you. If not, remember: “I am free to be you. You are free to be you.” That will help free you, too.
 

Coming together

I invite you this new moon and this new month to look a little closer into your relationships. Those who have lifted you, and those who have hurt you. Those who have inspired you, and those who have triggered you. Each is a teacher. 

If you need support in working through any relational hurts, judgments, bitterness, resentments, or attachments, I’m always here to help through a healing session. A lot of our pain is held in our energetic body, and healings can help bring to light what has been buried, clear what has been stuck, and open up more freedom and space for what you’re calling in. As always, you can book directly here.

If you’re called to gather with a like-hearted community, join me for Practicing Presence, a chance to dive a little deeper into the magic of the moment, or a yoga or meditation class. We also have just two (!) spots left for our heart-of-summer PAUSE Retreat. We have a truly magic crew coming so far, and if your heart has been nudging you, we’d love to have you join us :)

May this month bring you more harmony, within your relationships and within yourself. May you root into an open heart, strong boundaries, and steady footing. May you be free to be you, in all your glory.

With love,
ayah